Movies I've seen and other stuff

Slumdog Millionaire - I thought it was pretty good. Danny Boyle is definitely a talented dude. I still like his horror movies better than his other stuff but that might have something to do with my own personal preferences. I guess I'm just more interested in zombies and restarting the sun with and atomic bomb than I am in heroin or India. Anyway It's good, go see it. I've also been trying to figure out what country this film is from. Popular opinion seems to think it's Indian but it definitely isn't. Danny Boyle is English and, while I'm not completely sure about this, I think it was at least partially funded by hollywood. What that would make it, I have no idea.

The Punisher: War Zone- This film is dumb but I loved it. It never tries to be something that its not. There is no stupid superhero technology or profound moral questions to be found here. It's just a bunch of bad guys being killed in a variety of brutally awesome ways. One guy even gets thrown into a glass breaking machine. Beyond that though It's got a fairly demonstrative color design with a super saturated palate that I thought was fairly refreshing in an era of Sin City clones. I don't want to over analyze the film, so I'll put this as simply as possible: extreme violence and extreme color go extremely well together. The other thing that I'd like to say about the film is that it's definitely aware of its own stupidity. I think that's why it worked for me. I wish someone could explain this concept to Zach Snyder because he clearly doesn't get it.

High Sierra- It's a Raul Walsh film in which Bogart plays a gangster who is constantly followed by a cute dog with a death curse. What's not to like?

Heres the other stuff section. When I loged into Facebook today, I saw this Ad. Is that dude shaving his nipple? Does Facebook think I have hairy nipples? Why is he using a woman's razor? I'm here to confirm that I never use women's razors and my chest has only an average amount of hair... maybe even less. I'd also like to confirm that Facebook is a lot like SkyNet. It must be destroyed before it becomes self-aware and destroys all or humanity. I also want to say that the trailer for the new terminator movie looks awesome, as des the trailer for the new Star Trek movie. Hopefully they both wont completely suck.

Domo

I've been seeing pictures and merchandise of this thing for a while now I've never had any idea what the hell it was. Today I found out. It's the mascot of a television station in Japan. I guess it beats the NBC peacock. Anyway, the below video is really weird. Yet another example of how everything in Japan is crazy awesome.

Super Mario World

Not a lot to say about this one. I like it.

So close.

I'm almost done finals. Only one left. Here's a few screen shots from a crappy telecine of my sight and sound final. I think it turned out ok. If I could make movies instead of write papers, I'd be a much better student. 

Tokyo Drifter

So I've been eating, sleeping, and breathing Tokyo Drifter for about the past month. I've already written one paper and given a 45 minute presentation on it, and I am currently writing an even longer paper on It. I actually should get back to that. Anyway it's an awesome awesome movie. check it out.

Chuck Fillmore MD.

Rob and I are writing a comic for the Argus. Here's a preveiw.

Stupid Stuff Update.

Heres some stupid stuff I've looked at recently while surfing the world wide web.

Auditorium- Pretty cool Flash game.
Whopper Virgins -Twisted yet awesome ad campaign.
Crystal Head Vodka- Dan Aykroyd's Crazy Vodka. Watch the video.
Netflix - This one's actually just the netflix website, but now you can watch the streaming movies on a mac so thats awesome. I've spent a lot of my week watching Star Trek and Godzilla.
Exploding Whale- Funniest thing I've seen in a while. At first i thought that these people were just lazy, but then it occurred to me that their using explosives for cleaning purposes. If I ever get the opportunity to clean something by blowing it up, i 'm gonna take it.
Garfield minus Garfield - It's Garfield comics, but Garfields taken out. Sorta Sad.
How to draw Final Fantasy Characters - Self explanatory.
Roomba Driver - Don't want to ruin the surprise.
Official Ninja Website- This site was really funny in middle school.
John Stamos- this is just a picture of John Stamos
The Worst Day of My Life - My brother put this up on his site, but he's stealing my gatorade jokes so I'll put this up. It's pretty funny.
Don't Click Here-Don't Click There.

Chart

Yep, Awesome.

The Bad Sleep Well.

I Recently saw The Bad Sleep Well. That movie is super dark. I've seen a lot of dark movies, but that one really caught me off guard. Obviously most people know Kurasawa for his Samurai films, but the man can direct a gangster picture. Being a japanese film made in 1960 I'm not sure that it can be really classified as noir, but thats exactly what it is. Honestly I feel that most of my favorite noir films can't technically be defined as noir. What's up with that? Someone needs to invent a standard system of classification for the noir genre. Anyway, here's the trailer. Check it out.

Cooking Mama's response to Peta

Just thought that I'd throw this up since I posted the game earlier. I sorta wish they went the other way with it though. Something in the realm of: Cooking Mamma says "if you don't like meat, you can go fuck yourself."

Your the man now dog.

I came upon this article while surfing the web yesterday and started to think about other voices that are super easy to remember. Heres a quick top 10 list I made (not in any real order).

1. Axel Rose
2. William Shatner
3. Walter Brennen
4. Gilbert Godfreed
5. Wallace Shawn
6. James Earl Jones
7. Stephen Hawking
8. Tiny Tim
9. Charlie Manuel
10. Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love Thanksgiving.

Just to set the record straight, I hate Peta. A life without meat is a life not worth living. We're at the top of the food chain and we might as well take advantage of it while were here. Having said all this I think this game is pretty damn funny. I'll probably end up taking it down eventually, but you should play it while it's here.

[update] It's gone. If you wanna play it I recommend trying google.

The Anti-Teris

Play THIS GAME, its awesome.

Guitar Hero is pretty good.

I never really got into the Guitar Hero or Rock Band franchises for two main reasons. First, I suck at playing the guitar. I don't think i've ever really successfully encountered a musical interment in my entire life, and honestly it's not due to a lack of trying. To be fair I got stuck playing the tuba in highschool, and piano recitals where never really my thing.

The second reason is due to the fact that those games have become crazy expensive. There are very few things that i'm going to be willing to shell out $250 for and, unlike a mountain of pizza, a plastic drum set is not one of them. Having said all of this, when my roommate's girlfriend left her guitar at my house I figured I'd give it a shot and honestly it's pretty fun. I still suck at it, but I can shred through Welcome to the Jungle so I guess thats pretty good. So yeah, Guitar Hero is pretty good. I know this comes as a shock to many of you.

The real confusing thing about this whole situation is that my roommate's girlfriend lent us a game. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to work that way. It's definitely a good thing that more people are playing games, but like I said in my last post, I just hope it's not at the expense of the games that I like to play.

It's been a while.

I'm starting to get pretty annoyed with the Wii. I know Nintendo's making tons of money selling crappy mini-game collections to old people or whatever, but this is getting ridiculous. I haven't been excited about a WII game since Mario Galaxy. Maybe I'm sorta interested in the new animal crossing, but not really. Sure the GameCube wasn't great, but it wasn't this bad. Capcom released a bunch of good games, and the first party stuff was way better. Twilight Princess pales in comparison to Wind Waker. I feel like Miyamoto keeps talking about how there are new Zelda and Metroid games in the works but I'm not sure I believe him. I need to see a screen shot or something.

Anyway, I was reading this today. Maybe there's hope?

WORLD SERIES!

I'm not sure i've ever written about sports on this blog before, but i guess now is as good to start. The Phillies are going to the World Series and my friends, that is awesome.

Microsoft Commercial

Two posts in just a couple of hours? As terrible as it sounds, it had to be done. This comic captures my feelings on that weird Microsoft commercial exactly.sorry about the size, click to make it bigger.

John Davis Interview

I know that I've sorta been stuck on this subject over the past week, but it seems to be everywhere I look. Anyway, I thought I'd point you to an interview with John Davis in which he basically said that The Sims Movie is just going to be a PG version of Weird Science. In other words, it's going to be Weird Science without any of the subject-matter that made Weird Science good. Don't ask why, but for some reason I keep envisioning this as Spy Kids 3D except without Ricardo Montalban (also don't ask why I've seen Spy Kids 3D). Davis also says something about ruining the Predator franchise even more than he already has.

Lego LaForge looks funny.

Legos are so cool. Why haven't there been any Star Trek legos?
In other news, I heard a summary of The Sims movie plot and it still pisses me off.

The Sims Movie? Really?

Haven't written anything in a while so I'll make this post extra long to make up for my negligence.

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time then you should already be well informed about my opinion on video game movies, If you haven't then I'll summarize it for you. They suck. Why studios keep making them is still a complete mystery to me. No amount of profit can justify the Doom movie. Today however I have realized that the industry has hit an all-time low. It's official, Fox is releasing a movie based on The Sims. Yes, let me say that again, the brilliant executives at the Twentieth Century Fox corperation have found a game that has even less of a plot than Tekken (which apparently is also still coming out). How could that possibly work? Is there going to be any blurred out nudity? As far as I'm concerned thats the only reason people play that game. That and locking people in a small room filled entirely with rugs and fireplaces. Those are the only two reasons that people play that game. What the fuck. I'm not sure I can live in a world in which a Sims movie exists, but a River City Ransom movie remains unmade. It's just not fair.

By the way, the producers name is John Davis. His other work includes Norbit and AVP: requiem. If anyone ever comes in contact with this individual, please do the whole world a favor and put a bullet in him. He's what's wrong with the movies.

For just one second I'm going to pretend that there's still at least some integrity in Hollywood. I know that the studios are making these films solely to make money, but I'm going to explain why they're terrible. The main problem with video game movies is that the people that are making them seem not to understand the differences between video games and film. The two mediums are completely different. What I'm saying should sound obvious, but honestly you'd be surprised how few people seem to understand it. Things that work well in a game won't necessarily work well in a film. Even if the film has a talented crew and the greatest script in the world, it's never going to be an accurate approximation of the video game on which it was based. It's sorta like trying to make a theatrical play based on a film. 9 times out of 10 it won't work because a play cannot capitalize on the aspects of film that are inherently cinematic. In a similar way a film cannot take advantage of the aspects of a video game that are inherently interactive. Even in the most extreme cases of cinematic games (Metal Gear Solid IV) the best moments are always when the cutscene ends and the player is able to take control. The fallout segment in Call of Duty 4 is a great example of this. Thats all I really care to say on that at the moment. My head's starting to hurt. Hopefully I've enlightened you in someway.

Machine Girl.

I've got another trailer for you. Haven't actually seen this movie, nor am I sure that I really want to, but I figured I'd put it up anyway. Everything is just crazier in Japan.

Heavy Metal!

Sorta just felt like posting this. I think what this blog really needs is more naked women flying on pterodactyls. Then again, what wouldn't benefit from that?

Important Information

It you liked that story about the Pikachu genes, than this one will blow you away. The national post office of Norway has recently changed their logo. This has caused a great deal of confusion. Some say it looks like a Pokeball, others say it looks like the logo to marathon. I think it looks like the Death Star. Only one thing can be said for sure. That logo has absolutely nothing to do with the mail. This could cause a future innocence, as I don't speak Norwegian. I will have to make a note of this.

In other news, I recently saw a 35 print of Apocalypse Now. I've always like that movie, but I must say that it's a completely different experience on the big screen. Naplam never looked so good. It even made sitting through the Redux scenes bearable.

Now thats dedication...or autism.

You've probably seen this, but whatever. Imagine what he could do with some duct tape.

Am I Crazy?

I keep seeing trailers for the new Tomb Raider game and I keep thinking to myself, that actually looks pretty good. Is that possible? Am I nuts? I don't understand it.

I haven't played through a Tomb Raider game since Tomb Raider II (which was awesome), because I've always felt like they were just more of the same. The thing is from what I've seen of the new one, it's really not all that different either. Then why I ask am I so interested in it? I think it may have something to do with Drake's Fortune, because that game was pretty good. 

Italy

I'm in italy, check it out.

Lighting fast moves

Haven't written anything in a while, so I thought I'd throw this up. Japanese researchers have named a protein after Pikachu. Let me say that again. Real scientists have named a real organic protein after a Pokemon. I guess thats cool?

Akira (2009)

Just incase you forgot, someone in hollywood is still trying to make a live remake of Akira staring Leonardo DiCaprio. At first I was really against the idea, and I guess I still am, but i'm warming up to it. Look at it on the bright side, at least it wont star Kanye West.

Metropolis Found!

Metropolis is one of the most awesome movies of all time. Despite being over 80 years old it's got special effects that can put a George Lucas wet dream to shame, and is more epic than all three Lord of the Rings put together. After all, what could be better than burning evil robots to death on a stake? You probably didn't even know that robots could burn.

While obviously Metropolis is a great film, it has always astounded me how watchable it is despite the fact that about a third of the film is missing. Maybe because its a silent movie, it seems acceptable that half of the plot has been replaced with title cards. Whatever the reason is, It doesn't really matter anymore as someone has found the lost footage. Finally, I can figure out who the hell the thin man was! Mark this as a definite addition to my Netflix queue. Now if only someone could find a way to lose the second half of History of Violence, then we'd be in business.

Chrono Trigger Remake?

Apparently SquareEnix is gonna release a version of Chrono Trigger for the DS. Wether it's a remake or just a straight port hasn't been announced, but my money would probably be on a remake. Obviously this has me super excited, but unfortunately I don't have a DS. While I doubt I'm gonna buy one, this is the sorta stuff that they should be releasing on an actual console. Why is square releasing all of their A list titles on handhelds? I feel like Crisis Core might have sold better had they released it on the PS3. Same goes for the remake of Final Fantasy III and Final Fantasy Tactics. It's like they've realized that kids can't pay attention to an RPG for more than 30 minutes unless they can play it on the can. I guess it's finally happened, kids have so much A.D.D that they can't even play video games anymore. What the hell is wrong with this country?

...does anyone have a DS i can borrow?

Ren & Stimpy were funny damn it!

It seems like I'm one of the few people with fond memories of Ren & Stimpy. While the last couple of episodes were horrible the first few were pure gold. Admittedly it's not as funny as I remember it being, but it's a hell of a lot better the Rugrats.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits.

George Carlin died today. I don't have a whole lot to say on the subject, other than he will be missed. For years his humor has made my family road trips far more interesting. No matter how many times we listened to him tell his routine, whenever he got to the segment on airplane travel my dad would start to laugh so hard he'd begin to lose his ability to drive. If you've never experienced something like this then I can tell you it is both extremely hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

...oh and I got a job.

The Big Shave

If this video has taught me anything, it's that Scorsesse can be a little blunt with his allegory. It's like Ralph Wiggum says, "The rat symbolizes obviousness."



Also, just to make things perfectly clear, I don't really like Scorsesse all that much, I just couldn't think of any other videos to post.

METAL GEAR?

Beat Metal Gear. I think everything makes sense now...I think.

So much to do, So much time to waste doing it.

Thought I'd keep my avid readers up to date. While still unemployed, I'm spending a majority of my time playing through GTA and now MGS4. While sitting around and playing video games has always been one of my ideal activities, I feel like I need to accomplish something this summer. As soon as I find out exactly what that is, I'll let you know.

I need to get a Job

I've got way too much time on my hands and not enough to do with it. I've been looking for a job these past few weeks but unfortunately i haven't had much luck. My schedule sorta screws me up since I'm never home for much more than a month at a time. If you got any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Maybe I can organize some sort of road trip or something.

10 days and $100 towards a future purchase.

I finally convinced my brother to buy a PS3. We got it at Walmart in conjunction with the $100 gift card deal. If you're also looking to buy a PS3/metal gear machine in the next two weeks then i highly recommend taking the same route. After all, whats better than free money?

Anyway, Metal Gear comes out on the 12th...it's sorta driving me nuts.

Large Hadron Collider?

does anyone know what a Large Hadron Collider is? Personally I have no idea but apparently scientists are building one in Switzerland and it might be able to create black holes. Wikipedia doesn't seem too worried about it, but I am. Shouldn't there be laws preventing something like that? All I'm saying is that if the world ends because of some Swiss Large Hadron Collider, I'm gonna be super pissed. Solving String Theory just isn't worth the apocalypse.

On a completely different note, does anyone actually like Tyler Florence?

Bruce Lee fights racism... literally.

Bruce Lee is awesome. I know this scene from Fist of Fury is sorta silly, but it's emblematic of the social consciousness that all of his films contained. If your looking to check it out, and you should be, I highly recommend the version from the Bruce Lee Ultimate Collection that FOX released a few years ago. There's some really bad dubs out there, and some of them are nearly unwatchable. "Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung fu film" - Werner Herzog.

Summer

I haven't written anything on this Blog for a while. I guess it's about time that I did so, unfortunately I don't really have a whole lot to say. My summers been pretty good so far, but I need to find a job. I want something thats fun, relatively close to home, and pays well. Obviously such jobs aren't easy to find. I've been checking craig's list but I haven't found all too much. I'll try and keep you updated.

By the way, my NES table still hasn't come to fruition. It seems like if I really want to do it, I'm gonna have to go over to someone's house and use their tool shed. I was sorta just hoping to put it together in my basement. The idea of making a giant video game controller in someone else's house is less than ideal.

Happy Mothers Day!

My mini film series continues! This is a clip from Douglas Sirk's all that Heaven Allows. Very appropriate for mothers-day. All I can say is the man knows how to use lighting.

Bob's a bitch.

I saw this article on Kotaku and felt it was worth sharing. Anymore of these and I'm gonna have to get myself a parenting category on the sidebar.

Summer Project

I finally know what I'm going to do with my summer. If you don't think that I'm cool now, you will in a second. I'm going to create a giant working NES controller coffee table. I guess I'm gonna have to buy a third NES. I assume if i really look for one I could get it pretty cheap. It's times like this that I wish my mom never gave my last one away.

Obama on GTA

Heres one reason that I like Obama better then Clinton. Here Obama basically says what I've been saying for months. It's the parents responsibility to keep their children away from media that is inappropriate for them to be viewing.

Fall FIlm Series Sneak Preview

Heres some blurbs I just wrote for the film series next fall.

2001: A Space Odyssey
1968. USA. Dir: Stanley Kubrick. With Kier Dullea, and Gary Lockwood. 141mins.
An evil computer, monkeys, and a gigantic black monolith that spurs evolution…welcome to the Wesleyan Film Series.

Yojimbo
1961. Japan. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. With Toshiro Mifune. 110min.
Toshiro Mifune plays a badass samurai who’s out to make a profit in a town that’s defining features are two rival gangs and a guy with a giant hammer. Someone might need a Band-Aid by the time everything’s over.

Singin’ in the Rain
1952. USA. Dir: Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly. With Gene Kelly. 103min.
R.F. Simpson has a big problem on his hands when he realizes that the leading actress in his new movie has a voice like Minnie Mouse. How can Gene Kelly remedy the situation? By dancing his ass off.

Lifeboat
1944. USA. Dir: Alfred Hitchcock. With Tallulah Bankhead. 96min.
The eclectic crew of a sunken WWII battleship find themselves stranded on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. Things get interesting when they unexpectedly pull a U-boat commander out of the water. Lifeboat ranks among Hitchcock’s best.

also, despite my best efforts, no Akira next fall. I guess you cant get a print of it. Bummer.

GTA IV, Mario Kart Wii.

First off, I've partially abandoned my short film thing this week. I was looking for something good, but I just couldn't find anything. Maybe I'll just do it once a month now or something...or just when I feel like it.

I got Mario Kart Wii sunday. It's pretty good I guess. It's got a lot of new levels and the Wii Wheel works surprisingly well. To put things simply, it feels like mario kart. I used to be a huge fan of the series, and I guess I still am, but none of my friends play it anymore. This makes the game considerably less enjoyable. Being a Kart veteran I really appreciate the classic levels that Nintendo threw in. I wish they had done the same with Smash Bros. Sure they put in a bunch of melee levels, but most of them suck. Where are the N64 levels?

the last thing I want to talk about is GTA IV. I haven't played it. At first I didn't think I'd care, but I do. I feel left out. Having owned four of the last five GTA games to come out, not having the new one just feels weird. I love my Wii, but it's just not doing it for me anymore. I've held out long enough, I'm gonna earn some cash this summer and get a PS3. Also Metal Gear comes out, so I don't really have a choice.

Flying Padre

I guess i'm sorta excited about this short film idea, so I thought "why not get it kick started with a double feature?" Short Film #2 is early Kubrick. Check it out!

Balance

I'm going to start posting short films that I think people might enjoy, but probably haven't seen. I'll try to put one up at least once a week. Here's Short Film # 1.

Day of the Sock Puppet

Cannibal Countdown

Captain Zaladbar's Family Friendly Adventures

I made this movie with my friends a few years ago. I've got a whole bunch of these and I figure I'll start posting them over then next few days. Make sure you check back and see them all...or just look them up on youtube.

Pizza Battle

Ben challenged me to a pizza eating contest. First one to eat an entire large pizza wins. Loser buys both pizzas.

Pete Vs Ben: Battle of the Pizza Champions from Peter Binswanger on Vimeo.
Ben owes me 25 bucks.

Video Games vs Politics

I feel like there's been a lot of politicians jumping on the "Video Games are corrupting our youth" bandwagon, and frankly it's pissing me off. If you haven't seen it allready, you should check out this article that Stephen King wrote for entertainment weekly on the subject. The funny thing is that I partly agree with what their saying. Little kids should not be playing violent video games. Having said that, I don't think that means selling M rated games to minors should be illegal. That's crap. The video game industry, just like movies, should continue to be self regulating. Violent video games are no worse then violent movies. No one seems ready to ban 300 (though I sorta wish they would). I think the bottom line is this; parents should know what their kids are into so they can decide wether or not it's appropriate for them. It's every parents responsibility to know their children. Thats what it means to be a parent.

I guess where my idea sort of falls short is that it doesn't take into consideration how screwed up some parent's priorities actually are. I was pointed to this poll from whattheyplay.com which shows what parents find most offensive in video games. Guess what? Two men kissing beat out graphic decapitation and multiple uses of the F word. Mind you this isn't two men having sex, it's just two men kissing. What the fuck?

While I'm on the subject of politicians who hate video games, I'd like to quickly give a big middle finger to Elliot Spitzer. I know it's old news at this point but I never got to put my two cents in, so here I go. From what I understand, he was one of the more outspoken politicians against Grand Theft Auto. What people fail to recognize is that GTA is a satire, but whatever thats not really my point. What I guess I'm trying to say is that here's Spritzer condemning GTA for allowing sex with virtual hookers when he's having sex with real ones. Also, let's not forget that he was using government money to do so. Fuck that.

Ok, here's the last thing that gets me. Most politicians that are criticizing these games have never actually played them. In the past few weeks there have been multiple analysts who have admitted to this (Cooper Lawrence, and that guy whose name I can't seem to find). How come thats acceptable to people? No one could ever get away with criticizing a movie that they haven't seen. I'm not asking them to play all the way through, just enough to understand what it's all about. Video games are an entertainment medium, just like TV and movies, and it's about time that politicians understood this.

Draculaw

When it comes to the court room, these vampires mean business. They'll take the defendants to the bank...THE BLOOD BANK!

heres an example of dialogue

Tom: Hey, how come you always drink blood at night?
Nosforatu: because if I drank coffee, it would keep me up till morning.
(laugh track)
Tom: Not if you had it deCOFFINated!
(double super laugh track)

The Other Philadelphia Sandwich.

The cheesesteak is the king of all sandwiches. Anyone who argues otherwise is wrong. What makes it so great is not any one of it's components so much as it's versatility. Hamburgers and hotdogs taste the same no matter what you put on them, chessesteaks don't. Because of this, you can put on them whatever the hell you can think of (with the obvious exception of mayo and swiss cheese). This has lead to the creation of an entire family of sandwiches which can all be considered cheesesteaks. My favorite of coarse being the pizzasteak.


Every once and a while a sandwich comes along that pushes the boundary of what can be considered a cheesesteak. The Schmitter is one such sandwhich. While it may not be a chessesteak itself many consider it to be the cheeseteak's younger cousin. While initially it was only served at McNally's in Chestnut Hill, today they can be found in multiple locations, including Citizens Bank Park and The Linc. Unfortunatly, their still only available in the Philadelphia area. I gotta say, a lack of really good steak related sandwiches is one of the worst parts about living away from home. For those of you that still have no idea what a schmitter is, let me explain. If you look above you can truly admire how much crap they can actually pile onto this sandwich. A picture is truly worth a 1,000 words. The key ingredient in my mind is either the grilled salami or the special sauce. Too many people are concerned with their diet these days. They tell you to avoid eating carbs, and try to eat lighter food. I say fuck that, only the good die young.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Two years ago I had never seen a Kubrick movie. I always thought that he was one of those directors that only pretentious film people liked, and only so that they could sound pretentious. I was wrong, Stanley Kubrick is amazing. The ending of 2001 still doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and unless I plan to start an aggressive regimen of self-medication, it probably never will. The bottom line is that it just doesn't matter. If all that movie was was people walking around with weird gravity, and spinning spaceships set to classical music, I'd be happy to watch all 148 minutes. I think that's what makes Kubrick such a great director. His puts imagery before all else, and that's the way it should be done.

Don't get the idea that he can't write dialogue because he was one of the best in the business. If you've seen any of him movies then you'll know what I mean. Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order.

1. "You jerk, you clown! Come on, clown, sing us a chorus from Pagliacci!"
2. "I'm Spartacus!"
3. "Here's Johnny!"
4. "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
5. "You had best unfuck yourself or I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!" (I think I just like the word unfuck. I should try to use it more often.)Altogether, not too shabby. Anyway, now for the real reason that I decided to write this post. Last night I saw The Killing. It's a film noir about a racetrack heist gone wrong, and It's everything that a film noir should be. It's got a hard boiled criminal, a seductive femme fatale thats easy to hate, and violence. Oh, the glorious violence. At one point they even shoot a horse with a sniper rifle. On top of all this, It's all put together in a seamless story line that constantly plays with time. It's probably not the best way to put it, but in a way, it does pulp fiction way before Tarantino was even born. Even If you're turned off by three hour costume epics and floating embryos in space, this is the film for you. I don't want to over-hyper it, but I honestly can't recommend it enough. If you only take one piece of advice from this blog, take this one. See this movie.

Video Game Movies

Every one knows that movies based on video games tend to suck. They always have, it's just a fact of life. Contrary to popular belief Uwe Boll didn't invent the shitty video-game genre. If you don't know what I mean, I recommend that you take a trip to your local video store and rent the Mario Bros movie. The bottom line is that Video Game movies make money and Hollywood likes money. I get it.

What I don't get is why Hollywoods insits on making on making movies based on fighting games. When I said that Hollywood should remake bad movies yesterday, I certainly didn't mean Street Fighter. A Tekken movie doesn't make sense to me either. Please, just no more Mortal Kombat. I don't think I could take any more of those. Why fighting games? Why not choose a game that actually has a plot? Wouldn't that just make sense? Sure the long rumored Metal Gear movie is probably going to suck, but at least it has potential. At least it has a story.

GI Joe and why remakes suck.

I'm back at school and the past few days have been sort of crazy. Currently I'm working on a bunch of stuff, but the good news is that a lot of my work seems to be finally paying off. Thats always a good feeling.

Did anyone see the pictures of Ray Park dressed up as Snake Eyes yet? I've gotta admit he looks pretty sweet. I know the GI Joe movie is going to suck but I'll probably go see it anyway. It's directed by Stephen Sommers, the guy who did The Mummy and Van Helsing. That means it could be good or bad. The Invisible french guy from Heroes is playing Destro. I don't really know how I feel about that. He certainly doesn't look like Destro.

While searching around IMDB I noticed that they might be making a live action Akira starring Leonardo DiCaprio. I've also heard that a Seven Samurai remake is in the works as well. Thats just terrible. Why can't Hollywood just leave good movies alone. Enough with the remakes already, they suck.

The thing about remakes is this, Hollywood is going about them all wrong. They should stop trying to remake good movies, and start trying to remake bad movies that they fucked up in the first place. The Hulk is a great example of this. The first one sucked so now they have an opportunity to redeem themselves. Someone should remake the Bourne Identity so that it actually follows the plot of the book. How can you get rid of the villain when he's an assassin named Carlos the Jackel?

TatoBlog.com

Do you have trouble remembering to go to tatobins.blogspot.com? Then I have good news for you. You can now reach the site directly from www.tatoblog.com.

Write Comments

No one ever seems to leave comments on this blog. I think that might be due to the fact that people used to need a blogger account to do so. This is no longer the case. In fact, you can even leave an anonymous comment if you want to. You guys no longer have any excuses. leave a damn comment.

I'm not quite dead yet.

Last night I drove up to New York to go see Spamalot. I probably should have gone a few years ago when it starred Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce, and Hank Azaria. Instead I got to see Clay Aiken. His bad acting aside, the show was actually pretty good. While not entirely true to Holy Grail most of the key scenes where there. If you like Monty Python then it probably goes without saying that you should check it out.

I guess the real reason I wanted to write this post was because the 60 year old lady who sat next to us was totally crazy. She said that she lives in Austin Texas but flew up to New York exclusively to see the show. She has seen it two time in as many days, and she plans to see it for a third time tonight. Heres the catch, she hates Monty Python and was there solely to see Clay Aiken. I think i ended up watching her reaction to the show more then the actual show itself. Throughout most of it she looked pretty angry. She didn't seem to see the humor in taunts of french castle guard or misfortunes of the Black Knight, but when Clay Aiken soiled himself and waddled off stage, now that was funny. After the show was over she milled around and collected all of the crinkled playbills that people had dropped on the floor. I can only assume that she was doing this in an effort to increase the amount of documents in her possession that had Clay Aiken's face on them. I sort of felt bad for her. If she had a loving family who cared for her, none of this would have ever happened. A real family would have never let her watch dumb shows like American Idol. There is definitely better television out there and the people who watch American Idol are just part of the problem.

No More Heroes

For the moment I've put Brawl aside, and started playing No More Heroes. Its a game I've been meaning to play for some time but Netflix doesn't rent games, and I haven't had the money to buy it. However, after multiple visits to the video store I finally was able to get my hands on a copy. I was expecting a lot from that game, and at first I was a little let down. The graphics aren't great, but I'm pretty sure that was intentional, and the camera on the first level was a little weird. Honestly the whole game is weird. Yeah, really weird. It's not something that I can explain, because I just wouldn't do it justice. You'll just have to play it for yourself. All I can really say is that you can only save on the toilet, and that the enemies yell "My Spleen!" as you kill them.

Anyway, like I was saying, at first I was a little disappointed but by the third mission I realized how great a game this really is. I'm about 8 hours in, and while I'm glad that I never bought the game, I regret having waited so long to play it. I'm going to try my best to beat it before I go back to school on sunday, but thats gonna be difficult seeing as I've got a paper to write, and I'm going to New York tomorrow. Either way, I'll probably write a bit more on the subject once I get a little further (or beat it).

Another TatoBlog?

Yep, apparently there's another TatoBlog. Damn.

Sporting New Categories!

If you look on the sidebar, you will notice that there are now post categories. Hopefully this will make for a smoother TatoBlog experience.

Spring Break Bites.

MTV lies. Spring Break isn't fun at all. Shouldn't I be on a beach somewhere in Mexico with my friends, participating in alcohol-fueled revelry with scantily clad, overly amorous super models? Isn't that what’s supposed to happen over spring break? It seems all I ever do over spring break is sit on my couch, play video games, and browse my local video store.

Speaking of my local video store, I saw Akira Kurosawa’s Drunken Angel last night. Matsunaga (Toshirô Mifune) is a gangster who’s been diagnosed with tuberculosis by an alcoholic doctor (Takashi Shimura). I figure any movie that contains the better part of the cast of seven samurai is required viewing. As can be expected in a genre picture, the characters are pretty standard. We’ve seen alcoholic doctors before (Doc Boone from Stagecoach has to be one of my favorites), and if a womanizing gangster stricken with TB doesn’t immediately bring Doc Holiday to mind then you probably watch a lot less movies then I do…which is probably a good thing.

As sort of an aside, I think they need to make more Doc Holiday movies. After all, there’s nothing cooler than a gunman with a death wish. If you’ve seen Val Kilmer in Tombstone or Victor Mature in my Darling Clementine then you’ll know what I mean.

Anyway, Drunken Angel isn’t a western/samurai movie like you might expect. It’s actually film noir, set in the slums of Tokyo immediately following WWII. It reminded me of The Third Man in that respect. The two films were shot a year apart (1948 and 1949), and when the characters walk through the rubble you know that it’s not a set.

If you’re looking for an action movie then this might not be the movie for you. There is very limited stabbing and no one gets shot. Having said this, there is one fight scene in a freshly painted hall that is amazing. It’s quickly becoming one of my favorite action sequences in a Kurosawa movie. If you’re worried that this film drags at parts (Stray Dog), don’t be. Just because there isn’t an over abundance of action doesn’t mean that the film is boring.

I could probably type about that movie for a while, but the bottom line is this; It’s really good. Spring Break sucks, so spend it watching Drunken Angel. That is all.

JAWS: The Musical

Jaws: The Musical from Peter Binswanger on Vimeo.

Apparently, because I did so much work on Jaws, Rob was unable to fit all of my credits onto the movie. That’s ok. I thought I’d add them below.

Pete Binswanger – Original Idea
Pete Binswanger – Prop Designer
Pete Binswanger – Spot Light Operator
Pete Binswanger - Transportation
Pete Binswanger – Video Consultant and Uploader (not camera man)
Pete Binswanger – Confetti Technician
Pete Binswanger – Assistant Set Constructor
Pete Binswanger - Quint Aficionado
Pete Binswanger – Pizza Captain
Pete Binswanger - Paint Remover

Expedite This...UHHH!

While typing this, I am currently watching Double Dragon: The Movie. It's not as good as the game but it does star Mark Dacascos, the chairman from Iron Chef America, and thats gotta make up for something. He seems like the guy you get when Keanu Reeves is busy. I'm having a hard time figuring out whether this is the worst movie ever or the best movie ever. I know its always funny to watch computer effects from the 90's, but these are straight out of I-Movie. At least they got the red and the blue right. You know what this movie needs? BattleToads. I think every movie would be enhanced by BattleToads. Titanic getting a little slow? Throw in some BattleToads.

P0rtal

I finally got my hands on Portal today and I beat it fairly quickly. If you haven't played it yet I recommend that you do. It's not that expensive ($20) and the show is well worth the price of admission, however If you can get a friend to buy it, that's definitely the way to go. This is a game that can easily be beaten in one sitting, and now that I've beaten it I don't really feel this huge urge to go back and beat it again. I guess I could see myself playing through it once more, but only so that I can listen to the developers commentary. Really, It feels more like the first level of a larger game then a full game itself. There's a lot of potential that really hasn't been met, and I'm really hoping that Portal 2 is a whole lot longer and has a whole lot more stuff in it. The sentry guns were nice, but they don't have bones for me to break. There's nothing more satisfying then taking on tons of soldiers with an amazing ability to manipulate physics. Remember when the gravity gun in Half Life 2 got super charged? I rest my case. What Portal really got right (other then the portal mechanic, which is awesome) was it's good sense of humor. It ranks up there with the Monkey Island games, and as far as I'm concerned, few games are as funny as the Monkey Island games.

Kill Ya Good

Kill Ya Good from Peter Binswanger on Vimeo.

Best Ending Ever.

So as I said yesterday, I've been playing a lot of Street Fighter II. Today I pretty much finished it with ever character. All I can say is this, there are a whole lot of weird endings in that game. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened in Dhalsim's. Anyway, Zangief's is by far has the best. I thought that I'd share it with you, since I'm sure most of you haven't seen it.

Also, no more scary Anderson Cooper lady.

Tiger Uppercut!

Recently I've been playing all sorts of Street Fighter on the SNES. I've got SF II Turbo, SF II: The New Challengers, and Street Fighter Alpha II. Unfortunately I even recently spent $4 on SF II for my phone. I went in with low expectations, and while they were surpassed, it wasn't by much. It is a fully featured version of SF II. All the characters and moves are there. The only real problem is that you gotta play it on your damn phone. Good Luck trying to do anything with your number keys. The only real successful strategy that I found, was to fireball your enemies to death. Because the difficulty has been tuned down a bit, they tend not to try and avoid anything. This works up until Vega at which point your fucked. The spaniard jumps around so much that he's impossible to keep up with. If your looking for a cell phone game, I recommend sticking with Tetris.

That embarrassment aside, I'm pretty excited for SF IV. I recently read an Interview in which Yoshinori Ono said that a Wii port could be possible. That would be nice, so long as they don't throw in any unnecessary waggle controls. I can tell you one thing for sure, I'm probably not gonna play the arcade version all too much. I could see myself giving it a try at a movie theatre or laundromat (I don't actually go to a laundromat) but thats about it. Frankly, arcades are just way too expensive. Whatever happened to playing a game for a quarter? That seemed like it had been the standard since the Pac Man days up until fairly recently. Today the average machine is far more greedy, they even have a slot for dollar bills. I'm not going to drop a three bucks so that I can spend five minutes on a game that I could easily spend the entire weekend on for roughly the same price. The other, and perhaps more significant problem, is that I don't think I could find an arcade even if I wanted to.

Thats all, I've gotta go get my laundry...but not at the laundromat.

Playmobil

While some might consider Playmobil to be second rate Legos i've honestly gotta say some of the sets were pretty sweet. Who else would have thought to sell Civil War themed toys to 10 year olds? I must have reenacted the battle where Ulysses S. Grant defeated Robert E. Lee at least a hundred times. Whenever things started to look down for the Union the Romans would attack and route the Confederates from the field. Survivors were rare. I guess what makes Playmobil so cool was that the figures were bigger so they could have a lot more detail on them then Legos. They also seem to be a lot more historically accurate.

On the whole playmobil is sort of hit or miss on how cool the sets are. You could get some pretty sweet ass sets like these romans here. On the other hand they could really suck. Who the hell wants to play with an Iron Lung?
You know what really sucks, Megablocks. Megablocks were for kids who ate all of their legos.

Pizza Establishments

Today I was walking and thinking to myself, If I had a pizzeria what would I call it? I guess it sort of depends on what type of pizza place it would be. I think a good Idea would be to open a really trendy wood oven pizzeria and call it "Za." That sounds pretty hip. Since I would be the owner people might even refer to as Pete's Za...yeah, see where I'm going there? Of coarse, like any restaurant frequented by hipsters all of the staff would be required to dress like Buddy Holly. Also, no fat chicks.

PS3

So I've sort of always thought that I would eventually get a PS3. At the moment it doesn't seem worth it, but that could soon change. Apparently Sony announced a new 80GB PS3 that comes with MGS4, a DualShock 3 and a $500 price tag. Since it seems like i'm essentially buying the system on the merits of Metal Gear and Final Fantasy, that sounds like a worth while deal. The expected release date is June 12th. Note, that's two months after GTA IV comes out. I guess the question is, is GTA IV really worth buying the system sooner? I love GTA as much as the next guy but I'm gonna have to say no.

Reason 1. If I buy a PS3 now, its not gonna come with the DualShock which is total pain in the ass. I refuse to play Metal Gear without one. If Psycho Mantis comes back from the dead, I want to be ready.

Reason 2. I don't really have the time to enjoy GTA at the moment. If I get it on June 12th that's right at the start of summer break. That means that I should be able to catch up on all two of the games that I missed since the systems release.

Reason 3. If I get a summer job I might actually be able to afford a PS3 without selling my dog or going hungry for a few months.

TatoBlog, Now in Widescreen.

Check it out, I widened the left column so I can show videos a bit better. Scroll down and check out that guy playing the drums again. It's like Cinerama, CinemaScope, VistaVision, and PanaVision all in one.

Film Synopses

So I need to write a film synopsis for this application I'm filling out. The only real requirement is that it stays under 40 words. Which one do you guys like best?

Ben Hur
Before there was Gladiator there was Ben Hur. Charlton Heston plays a Jewish prince searching for vengeance in a movie that can only be described as epic. It’s got everything from naval battles to chariot racing; even Jesus makes an appearance.

Alien
The title just about sums it up. The crew of the Nostromo have accidentally picked up an alien and Segourney Weaver has to deal with it. You may not want to come on a full stomach.

The Legend of Drunken Master
What mixes with Alcohol better than Kung Fu? Jackie Chan plays Wong Fei Hung, a martial arts master with a drinking problem. Only he has the power to defeat an evil British businessman with a hankering for ancient Chinese artifacts.

The King of Kong: Fistfull of Quarters
"The average Donkey Kong game doesn't last a minute, It's absolute brutality." Yes, it's Billy vs Steve in the documentary that’s more fun then a barrel of…monkeys. Who can reach Donkey Kong immortality? Trust me, you'll want to find out.

Dr. Browns.

I don't really have a lot to say today so I'm going to write this entire post as a list.

1. My keyboard is working again, Huzzah!

2. I watched Oldboy yesterday. It's a pretty good movie but it's really fucked up. If your looking for a really fucked up Korean movie, then Oldboy might just be for you. Thats all I have to say about that.

3. I think I may be addicted to Dr. Brown's Black Cherry soda.


4. There's something suspicious about Anderson Cooper. He seems like a nice guy but honestly I'm not sure he actually knows anything about politics. He's also a member of the Vanderbilt family and his brother's name is Leopold Stanislaus Stokowski. I'm on to you Cooper.

[Update]
I think Leopold Stanislaus Stokowski is some sort of complex anagram for Voldamort. That seems plausible if you don't think about it for too long. Also, this super ugly lady got an Anderson Cooper tattoo.

SHI !

So oday a key on my keyboard broke. Can you guess which one i was? I'll give you a hin, i's he second mos common leer in he english language. Eh, I guess i could dalk like dis. I kinda sound like da inderned version of Sylvesder Sdalone. Anyway dond expecd doo many posd undill I ged dis fixed.

What the Hell?

So today I was browsing the internet when I came upon an article that totally blew my mind. Kim Jong-Il (yes, that Kim Jong-Il) is going to throw out the first pitch at a Nationals game this year in washington. I'm sorry, but since when did we start letting murdering fascist dictators participate in our national past time? Not only is this completely immoral but they chose the wrong dictator. If they had to choose one couldn't they have chosen Castro? He really likes baseball and I hear he's pretty good. I actually have more to say on this subject but right now I don't have the time to type it. I know you all wait with great anticipation.

Luigi can jump high.

Everyone likes videos, everyone likes the drums, and most people like Super Mario 2. Where else can you live out your fantasy of playing as toad? Anyway check out this video, it's pretty sweet.

Birdo's a girl right?

Project B: Part 1

So here it is, a TatoBlog exclusive. This is a rough edit so keep that in mind. I obviously have to add some music and color correction, and eventually I might even reshoot a couple of parts. In the end though my main goal with this movie is just to have fun playing around with various special effects shots. In the next episode were chasing cars, hitting old ladies, and breaking glass. In the off chance that anyone actually reads this thing, please tell me what you think.

Bionic Commando

So with all of this fervor for the new Bionic Commando, I thought I'd play through the original. I'm glad I did. First let me just explain the plot. You are Rad Spencer, a Bionic Super Soldier who can use his robotic arm to kick some serious ass, and swing wherever the hell he wants. He's sorta like Spider Man but with a better name, a better hairdo, and a bazooka. National Hero and all around good guy Super Joe has been captured by a group of Nazis who call themselves the Bads (just to makes sure no one gets confused), and It's up to you to save him. In order to do so, your going to have to kill General Killt and foil his plan of building a super laser by reviving an evil genius who goes the name of Master D. Anyway Hitler gets revived and calls you a damn fool for trying to fight him, but in the end his head explodes. Did I say Hitler? I meant Master D (Click the picture to watch it go!). Pretty intense huh?. I told you this game is cool.

If you couldn't tell already I'm pretty excited about the new one, even though I don't have the hardware to play it. Maybe by the time it comes out I will, but seeing as I'm going to be paying off my car for most of the foreseeable future it's not likely. Hopefully It'll get the swinging mechanic right. I can't tell you how many games have screwed that up. Well I suppose I actually could, but it just might take a while. Many of them rhyme with Splider Man.

Thats all for today...I'm gonna go make a waffle.

Ninja Trailer

This is the trailer for the movie that I'm making. Thanks to Rob for the awesome score. Wanna help make it? Were shooting it January the 19th... give me a call.

3:10 to Yuma / Eating gross stuff

So I rented this movie the other day and I gotta say it's pretty good. I haven't seen the original but I'm probably going to get on that in the upcoming weeks. Anyway, 3:10's got pretty much everything you look for in a Russell Crowe movie...Fighting. Yes, (Spoiler Alert) lots of people get killed in this movie. Oh and Christian Bale is pretty cool too. It just sorta bugged me that Crowe never tried to get away at the end. Couldn't James Mangold just have slapped some hand cuffs on him or something? Whatever, thats probably just me. Speaking of Christian Bale has anyone seen Rescue Dawn? It's an OK movie, but Bale's not so great in it. I give him points for eating bugs but it's just not enough. After seeing Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman on the travel Channel nothing seems gross anymore. I saw that guy eat a still beating frog heart and wash it down with a shot of lizard juice. It was sort of a funny moment since the "chef" was there looking at him to see what he'd think. He gaged a bit and then smiled and told the world how good it was. It reminded me of Rachel Ray.

Why you should play chrono trigger.

This past week I’ve spent most of my time playing through Chrono Trigger, and I must say; time well spent. On a scale from 1 to AWESOME this game is at least a 13. It's got great characters (despite their being named by 8 year olds), a great story, more endings then you could possibly ever hope to complete, and the final boss inexplicably looks like a messed up duck. What's not to like? If you're one of those fools that won't play old games because their old (I'm looking at you rob) then perhaps this game might change your mind. Then again it might not. Perhaps a list will persuade you?

Old Games Are:
1. Fun
2. Plentiful
3. Cheap

Can you say that about the Wii? nope. Don't get me wrong, I’m excited about the Wii's financial success, I'm just a little nervous about it. The Wii seems to be following a trend that has plagued Nintendo consoles since the N64; the only good games on them are made by Nintendo. Sure there are a few exceptions like Resident Evil 4, but it's just not like it was back in the SNES days. I’m just tired of companies porting over a crappy game, throwing on a few waggle controls, and slapping it with a $50 price tag. I know their supposed to be “Causal” games or whatever but thats no excuse for how bad some of these games are. Trust me on this one, I’ve played Dancing with the Stars, and I'd rather suck the fat out of Al Roker than play it again. Unfortunately due to competitive pricing and a family that watches way too much crappy TV, I now own it. If things continue the way they are I might have to abandon technology altogeather and live with the monkeys like Jane Goodall. Heres hoping it doesn’t come to that.

Today the world changes.

Hello, and welcome to my blog. Like most blogs that you may have seen this is a place were I can write words and maybe people will read them. If your interested in hearing what I have to say on stuff then this might just be the place for you, otherwise you probably should stop reading.