Microsoft Commercial

Two posts in just a couple of hours? As terrible as it sounds, it had to be done. This comic captures my feelings on that weird Microsoft commercial exactly.sorry about the size, click to make it bigger.

John Davis Interview

I know that I've sorta been stuck on this subject over the past week, but it seems to be everywhere I look. Anyway, I thought I'd point you to an interview with John Davis in which he basically said that The Sims Movie is just going to be a PG version of Weird Science. In other words, it's going to be Weird Science without any of the subject-matter that made Weird Science good. Don't ask why, but for some reason I keep envisioning this as Spy Kids 3D except without Ricardo Montalban (also don't ask why I've seen Spy Kids 3D). Davis also says something about ruining the Predator franchise even more than he already has.

Lego LaForge looks funny.

Legos are so cool. Why haven't there been any Star Trek legos?
In other news, I heard a summary of The Sims movie plot and it still pisses me off.

The Sims Movie? Really?

Haven't written anything in a while so I'll make this post extra long to make up for my negligence.

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time then you should already be well informed about my opinion on video game movies, If you haven't then I'll summarize it for you. They suck. Why studios keep making them is still a complete mystery to me. No amount of profit can justify the Doom movie. Today however I have realized that the industry has hit an all-time low. It's official, Fox is releasing a movie based on The Sims. Yes, let me say that again, the brilliant executives at the Twentieth Century Fox corperation have found a game that has even less of a plot than Tekken (which apparently is also still coming out). How could that possibly work? Is there going to be any blurred out nudity? As far as I'm concerned thats the only reason people play that game. That and locking people in a small room filled entirely with rugs and fireplaces. Those are the only two reasons that people play that game. What the fuck. I'm not sure I can live in a world in which a Sims movie exists, but a River City Ransom movie remains unmade. It's just not fair.

By the way, the producers name is John Davis. His other work includes Norbit and AVP: requiem. If anyone ever comes in contact with this individual, please do the whole world a favor and put a bullet in him. He's what's wrong with the movies.

For just one second I'm going to pretend that there's still at least some integrity in Hollywood. I know that the studios are making these films solely to make money, but I'm going to explain why they're terrible. The main problem with video game movies is that the people that are making them seem not to understand the differences between video games and film. The two mediums are completely different. What I'm saying should sound obvious, but honestly you'd be surprised how few people seem to understand it. Things that work well in a game won't necessarily work well in a film. Even if the film has a talented crew and the greatest script in the world, it's never going to be an accurate approximation of the video game on which it was based. It's sorta like trying to make a theatrical play based on a film. 9 times out of 10 it won't work because a play cannot capitalize on the aspects of film that are inherently cinematic. In a similar way a film cannot take advantage of the aspects of a video game that are inherently interactive. Even in the most extreme cases of cinematic games (Metal Gear Solid IV) the best moments are always when the cutscene ends and the player is able to take control. The fallout segment in Call of Duty 4 is a great example of this. Thats all I really care to say on that at the moment. My head's starting to hurt. Hopefully I've enlightened you in someway.

Machine Girl.

I've got another trailer for you. Haven't actually seen this movie, nor am I sure that I really want to, but I figured I'd put it up anyway. Everything is just crazier in Japan.

Heavy Metal!

Sorta just felt like posting this. I think what this blog really needs is more naked women flying on pterodactyls. Then again, what wouldn't benefit from that?

Important Information

It you liked that story about the Pikachu genes, than this one will blow you away. The national post office of Norway has recently changed their logo. This has caused a great deal of confusion. Some say it looks like a Pokeball, others say it looks like the logo to marathon. I think it looks like the Death Star. Only one thing can be said for sure. That logo has absolutely nothing to do with the mail. This could cause a future innocence, as I don't speak Norwegian. I will have to make a note of this.

In other news, I recently saw a 35 print of Apocalypse Now. I've always like that movie, but I must say that it's a completely different experience on the big screen. Naplam never looked so good. It even made sitting through the Redux scenes bearable.